For Women: Self-Consciousness Remedy - How to Cure Self-Consciousness Naturally

 

By Rosina S Khan  |   Submitted On February 26, 2020

  

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Are you always too self-conscious of yourself about people looking at you and scrutinizing you? I have remedies to help you feel better. Read on to find out.

Here goes:

1. Understand that people may be interested in you but if you don't pay attention, they hardly hold their interest. They start heeding others. So you are pretty safe, can relax and enjoy the occasion wherever you are.
2. You self-talk and so do other people. If you make a mistake such as, dropping a glass or bumping on a guy, you hardly have to feel bad. Most of the people around are worried about themselves only and their self-talk is about them and not you. So comprehend that even if you make mistakes like the above, they are hardly thinking about you.
3. At a gathering or reunion of some kind, if your thoughts are continuously about self-consciousness, help yourself by saying quietly to yourself: TERMINATE. Then and there stop thinking that way. Find someone you know and start talking and gradually find more friends/relatives to talk and enjoy your time.

Now I gravitate the above three situations towards more positive ways:

4. Suppose people are watching you with interest as you have dressed yourself very elegantly. Look around and open your eyes. See around and find out who it is that you like and walk up to him gracefully and intentionally without feeling self-conscious. Strike a jolly conversation and laugh your fears and concerns away.
5. You have made your mistake. Look around quickly and share with someone your blunder and how much you are sorry. You can even ask him/her to show you the host so that you can apologize. About bumping on someone else, confess to someone how clumsy you have been that you haven't really noticed the person you have bumped on. Acknowledging your mistake(s) will make you feel much better. You don't feel self-conscious and become ready in the mood to enjoy the occasion wherever you may be.
6. If you can't help but feel self-conscious as long as you have been in the gathering or reunion, saying TERMINATE to yourself will help but also change your thoughts to something more positive. For example, say to yourself, "I can see Kate there. She is always so decent. I will go up to her and spend a few minutes with her. Perhaps she can introduce me to more like-minded people." Or, you can say, "I can see old grandma in the kitchen. Probably I can give her a helping hand and come across more people through her." This kind of positive self-talk actually results in happening what you wish for.

Summing up, the above six scenarios help to make you realize that feeling self-conscious is redundant and a waste of time. You can do so much better feeling confident and communicating with people graciously.

Rosina S Khan has authored this article. For a wealth of free resources based on stunning fiction stories and academic guides, amazing self-help eBooks, articles and blogs, all authored by her, and much more, visit: https://rosinaskhan.weebly.com. You will be glad that you did.

Alternatively, for a different layout of free resources, visit: http://www.facebook.com/RosinaSKhan.hub. You won't be disappointed and remember to like her Facebook page.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Rosina_S_Khan/2054435

Loneliness - Types and Strategies

 

By Linda Hancock  |   Submitted On December 28, 2020

  

Winter can be a difficult time, especially when the weather steals our freedom. It isn't easy to travel when the roads are icy and the temperatures are plummeting. Many people are afraid of falling and are therefore indoors more.

The pandemic that began in 2021 has brought with it a number of restrictions that tend to isolate people. Those who I have found to be most vulnerable are seniors who live in their homes. They don't have the advantage of interacting with others personally and frequently do not have computer skills to reach out. Unlike those who live in a condo, they don't even have opportunity to greet others or wave when going down a hallway or meeting at the mailbox.

I have been thinking about those I care about who are struggling. Even though they have good health and financial security they are desperately lonely. A phone call isn't the same as a hug and having twenty-four hours a day without contact can be very empty.

There are four kinds of loneliness:

1. Isolation - Feeling alone because friends and loved ones are at a distance.
2. Detached - Not having any family, friends or company.
3. Dissociation - Being in a crowd of people but not connecting.
4. Lacking Purpose - Not have anyone to care for or any tasks to perform.

Distance due to contagious illness is usually temporary. Retirement may lead to a period of disillusionment. Death triggers grief. Moving requires adjustment.

Although there are several factors that can contribute to loneliness, psychologists generally agree that loneliness is actually a state of mind. It is difficult to talk someone out of loneliness. That is just theory and will evaporate after the conversation. On the other hand, activity changes the focus and allows the individual to become involved in projects.

I am fortunate that I have always been my own best friend. I keep myself busy with things like cooking, crafts, music and canasta. Learning French keeps my mind sharp and because I am curious, I am able to use the internet to research topics.

Here are some tips to help reduce loneliness:

1. Look for someone who is lonely and interact with them. That way you solve two problems!
2. Watch for individuals who are living alone in their own house and check in with them regularly.
3. Think about your blessings rather than losses.
4. Rejuvenate hobbies that you enjoyed in the past.
5. Say what you want - not what you don't want.
6. Join an internet group of individuals with similar interests.
7. Write out your family history. This will keep you busy and be a treasure for generations to come.
8. Write one letter or phone one person a day who you can encourage.
9. Find a new recipe and make it.
10. Plan an activity that you will do when spring comes.

My uncle, who was a Queen's Bench judge had a sign on his desk that read "I complained when I didn't have shoes. And then I met a man who didn't have feet".

Change your state of mind and change your life!

And now I would like to invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to a complimentary list of 10 Steps to Making Your Life an Adventure when you visit http://lindahancock.com

From Dr. Linda Hancock, Registered Psychologist and Registered Social Worker

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Linda_Hancock/152728

Putting Things in Order

 

By Linda Hancock  |   Submitted On December 28, 2020

  

December is usually a very busy month for me, but this year was probably the craziest yet!

The fact that I have been working from home for nine months meant a lot of changes. My dining room table has become my office center and each chair has specific filing bins with forms that I use. Yes, I am from the days of yore when everything has been and still takes a paper format.

New software allows me to see my clients on a secure platform that has expanded the "reach" for all of us. No more driving, parking or waiting for clients. In fact, many clients have asked if they can continue this even if/when the office is open again. But it meant that I had to develop some skills and patience.

Because I still have paper files I created a system that works for my staff. The client files for the next two business days are put by them into a suitcase with wheels. Twice a week I go to the office when there isn't anyone in the building and switch suitcases. I leave the one with completed appointment information and take home the one for the next two business days.

The pandemic has made me rethink my future practice and I decided that this is a good time to start downsizing. So, every time I arrive at the office, I set my alarm for one hour. Then I "power work", with a goal of cleaning out one filing drawer at a time. It is kind of like dealing playing cards as I throw the contents into one of three boxes. One is for keeping, one is for shredding and one is for things my son might use in his practice. It is amazing how this method allows slow but steady progress!

Christmas was another challenge. Gifts were purchased and wrapped, the tree put up and menus planned, while all the time knowing that I might be alone. And I was. But it was wonderful. My daughter and her family decided to send me Christmas dinner from the Medicine Hat Lodge and it was fantastic. Although it was quiet at my condo, I had lots of conversations with friends and family through technological means. And lots of peace.

Finally, I had to prepare for year end which meant ensuring that all transactions were recorded and supplies ordered.

And now we stand on the threshold of a new year. The best gift that I believe I can give you is some hints as to how I got everything done.

1. Think reasonably. Break tasks down into small pieces. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
2. Make a list that is divided into timeframes. I had one big list that had several parts according to when things were to be completed (Today, By Friday, November, December, January).
3. Group things into categories. For example, wrap all the gifts at the same time and limit grocery shopping to a minimal number of trips.
4. Organize your environment so it is more efficient and so you can find the things you need when you need them.
5. Think smart - not hard. Never walk with having something in your hands. You will be amazed at how quickly you can get things done and save steps with a little planning.
6. Use technology as a tool and not as entertainment. It is easy to lose time once you start down the "rabbit holes" that the internet offers.
7. Focus on people and not things, blessings and not losses, progress and not procrastination.

My hope is that these few simple tips will help you to start the year on a positive note.

Happy New Year, everyone!

And now I would like to invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to a complimentary list of 10 Steps to Making Your Life an Adventure when you visit http://lindahancock.com

From Dr. Linda Hancock, Registered Psychologist and Registered Social Worker

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Linda_Hancock/152728

Survival: What Beliefs Can Someone Have About Their Survival If They Experienced Childhood Trauma?

 

By Oliver JR Cooper  |   Submitted On December 27, 2020

  

What someone may find is that although they want to experience life in a certain way, it is not possible for them to do so. If they were to think about how long their life has been this way for, they may find that it has been this way for as long as they can remember.

Consequently, they may wonder if their life will ever change, and they might even start to question if they have any control over their life. So, taking into account how long their life has been this way for, they could be in a very desperate position.

Going Deeper

Now, although they may believe that they have no control over what is taking place, it doesn't mean that this is actually the case. What this is likely to illustrate is that a big part of them doesn't want their life to change.

To this part of them, what is taking place will be associated as what is safe. Thus, even though what is taking place will stop them from living a fulfilling existence, there will be a hidden benefit to it.

Two parts

At this point, one could struggle to understand what is going. It could be as though something else, something that is completely out of their control, is in control of their life.

Another way of looking at this would be to say that it is their unconscious mind that is sabotaging their life. This part of them will have far more control over their life than their conscious mind.

Two Extremes

As this part of them wants something else and it has far more control, it won't matter what their conscious mind wants. For their life to change, then, they will need to get this part of them on board.

Once this takes place, their life will have to change. Through being aware of this, what could consume one's mind is why what is taking place in their life would be associated as what is safe at a deeper level.

Shining the light

To understand why this is so, they may need to take the time to reflect on what their early years were like. If their mind has blocked out this stage of their life, this won't be an option right now.

However, if they were able to connect to this stage of their life, they may find that it wasn't very harmonious or loving. This may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected on a weekly, if not daily, basis.

A Traumatic Time

This wouldn't have been a time when they received what they needed to receive in order to grow and develop. Instead, it would have been a time when they had to do what they could to survive.

As they were powerless, dependent and incapable, they wouldn't have been able to do anything about what was going on. But, thanks to their strength and ability to both adapt and to dissociate, they were able to handle what took place by disconnecting from the experience.

At a Great Cost

Still, while they lived to tell the tale, so to speak, what took place would have left a mark on their whole system. It would have affected their brain and nervous system and mental and emotional self.

In addition to this, there would have been the beliefs/associations that their mind formed during this stage of their life. Forming these would have allowed them to handle what was going on at this stage of their life, but now that what took place is over, these will do more harm than good.

A Closer Look

As a result of what they went through as a child, they may have some, if not all, of the following beliefs:

• That they can only survive if they are not seen
• That they can only survive if they are not heard
• That they can only survive if they please others
• That they can only survive if they hide who they are
• That they can only survive if they hide their feelings
• That they can only survive if they hide their needs
• That they can only survive if they are submissive
• That they can only survive if they stay out of their body

With beliefs like these, as well as others, it is not going to be a surprise that one finds it hard to change their life. The truth is that they no longer need to hold onto these beliefs/associations.

Awareness

For one to move forward, it will be essential for them to shine the light of awareness on what they believe and to question what comes up. Along with this, there are likely to be the emotional wounds that they carry from this stage of their life.
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They may find that when they work through these emotional wounds, the beliefs/associations that are holding them back start to fall away. This is a process that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, six hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

Feel free to join the Facebook Group -
https://www.facebook.com/OliverJRCooper

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Oliver_JR_Cooper/818466

False-Self: Can 'Spirituality' Cause Someone To Develop A Superiority Complex?

 

By Oliver JR Cooper  |   Submitted On December 25, 2020

  

If someone is spiritual, it can mean that they are 'in this world but not of this world' and have a deeper connection to themselves and nature. They will know that there is more to life than what their five senses would have them believe.

So, while their mind, along with their eyes, will create the impression that they are separate from everyone and everything, they will know that this is just an illusion. Through having this understanding, they will be less likely to get caught up in what is going on externally and do their best to be kind to others and the earth.

Part of the Human Experience

Still, although they will be this way, like every other human being on this earth, they will have issues to deal with. It is then not going to be possible for them to always act in a conscious manner.

They may realise that they are a perfectly imperfect human being and therefore, they are not here to get everything right. If they were to hold themselves to such high standards, it would be hard for them to be compassionate towards themselves and to just be.

No Better or Worse

Having a deeper connection to themselves and the understating that they are more than their physical body won't cause them to believe that they are superior to others. If they ever have this point of view, they will know that they are caught up in their ego-mind.

This will be the part of them that operates from a place of duality, and this means that there will be no middle ground. Another person will then be superior or inferior, or good or bad, there is no grey.

A Time to Present

Once they have acknowledged this, they can take a step back and look into what is going on. This could be a sign, for example, that they have an inner wound that needs their attention and presence.

The key will be for them to notice what has happened, without blaming themselves for what has taken place. After all, what took place will have happened automatically; it won't be something that they consciously chose to experience.

It Doesn't End

Considering this, they may see that as 'enlightened' as they may be in one moment, they can be anything but 'enlightened' in the next. Therefore, this won't be something that is achieved and that's the end of it; it will be an endless process.

They may understand that if they wanted to stay in an 'enlightened' state, they could go and live in a cave or on the top of a mountain, away from the rest of humanity. The reason for this is that their issues will come to the surface around other human beings, which is why it is easy to be 'enlightened' in the middle of nowhere.

In Balance

When someone can relate to the above experience or one that is similar, they will be in touch with their true-self. By having this connection to themselves, they will be in tune with their spiritual nature; it won't be seen as something that is separate from them or be used to elevate them above others.

In other words, they will be connected to their body and this will allow them to be grounded in their spirituality. Consequently, the human experience won't be seen as something that they need to reject or evolve out of; it will be seen as something for them to embrace.

Another Scenario

Now, although someone can be connected to their body and, a result of this, connected to their spiritual nature, they can also be in a position where this is something that is more of a mental experience. Said another way, this won't be an embodied experience; it will be an identity that they have created.

This is not to say that they will be completely estranged from this part of them, just that it won't be integrated with the rest of them. Still, thanks to this identity, or false-self that they have created, they will be able to see themselves as being better than others.

An Upgrade

They are then not going to have a normal ego-mind; they will have a spiritual ego. This part of them will use spirituality and spiritual teachings as a way to prove that they are better and more evolved than others.

As they lack a strong sense of self, they will have merged with their ego-mind. Without a strong sense of self and, thus, a felt sense of their own value, they will need to elevate themselves above others in order to feel good about themselves.

Two Extremes

They won't have a strong core that will allow them to feel good and valuable without needing to compare themselves with others. A big part of the identity that they have formed can be that they are "awake" and "high vibration", with most people being "asleep" and "low vibration".

Below this false-self, a self that allows them to feel good about themselves, is likely to be a lot of toxic shame. If they were to let go of this self and to embrace how they truly feel, they could end up feeling really bad about themselves.

A Defence

They will then project an image of being better than others, but this will belie how they really feel about themselves. Ultimately, their need to be better than others will be a way for them to keep their true feelings at bay.

Also, what they perceive as being 'out there' will be a reflection of the part of themselves that they are unable to acknowledge. What this illustrates is that although they can reject the parts of themselves that they don't like, these parts will still have an effect on their life.

A Traumatic Time

When it comes to the inner and outer world, this can be seen as another creation of the ego-mind. There is then no inner or outer world; there is just one experience, and what is taking place in one's consciousness is what defines what they experience.

Anyway, as to why someone would carry toxic shame, it can be due to what took place during their early years. Perhaps this was a time when they were abused and/or neglected on a weekly, if not daily, basis.

Awareness

This would have stopped them from developing a strong sense of self and caused them to believe that they were inherently defective. With what is going on within, it could be said that they were destined to be drawn to something that would allow them to feel better about themselves.
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If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for the support of a therapist or healer. This will allow them to develop a strong sense of self, to embrace their inherent worth and to become more integrated.

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, six hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

Feel free to join the Facebook Group -
https://www.facebook.com/OliverJRCooper

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Oliver_JR_Cooper/818466