Having several casual relationships, they are just distractions, energy consuming and time draining.
Not practising the ‘’Kaizen way’’ which says smaller steps leads to bigger one. Start anything you want to do with at least a 1% move.
Not trying to finish what you have started, starting too many goals or tasks at once.
Not following the ‘’first thing first’’ rules, Replace urgent or important tasks with the first thing first!
Starting your days scrolling on Instagram and ending the day on Tiktok or snapchat.
Not having control over your thoughts, your mind wander away a lot from important things. Mind-wandering keeps you away from attention demanding tasks.
Disobeying the Pareto principle that says 20% of your activity should generate 80% result.
Lack of the ability to do the right thing at the right time which is the real definition of efficiency.
Setting goals or tasks that lack objectives. Mr Peter Drucker is very popular with a theory that he coined as ‘’Managing by objectives’’ (MBO).
Not involving a ‘’Deadline’’ with whatever you are doing in life.
Lack of patience.
Not having enough sleep, playing some video games or watching series when you suppose to be refreshing your brain by sleeping
My boyfriend is angry that I got period blood on his sheets. I told him it was an accident and I thought my period was over but it wasn’t. He made me feel pretty embarrassed and ashamed what should I do?
Let me save you some time and some future heartache.
I am going to share with you a few things I learned in therapy after 25 years of marriage to a man who grew up in a “shame-based family system.”
Google this for more information, Shame-based family system.
This is a very toxic and dysfunctional family environment. It is characterized by people who are over-controlling of others. A lot of the family interaction is based on shaming and blaming others.
“Why did you do that? You shouldn’t have done that. You should have done this.”
“Why did you say that? You shouldn’t have said that. You should have said this.”
My new husband not only wanted to control everything I did, he also thought he should instruct me on what to say, and what to think. I felt like I had dated Dr. Jeckyll and married Mr. Hyde. A short time afterward, we were in a bookstore, and I picked up a book with a title similar to “Dated Dr. Jeckyll, Married Mr. Hyde.” When my husband saw the title of the book, he immediately scolded me for looking at the book, and ordered me to put it down. I believe this just proved a point.
Someone who is going to scold, shame and embarrass you for having normal adult female physiology is not going to be pleasant to live with. You can plan on being scolded and criticized for … everything. You will be treated with scorn and contempt by his family members. Holidays will not be pleasant celebrations. They will be uncomfortable ordeals. You will even be blamed for his accidents.
Please, please break up with him now. Never have sex with him again. He is not an asset in your life. He will try to destroy you psychologically (what you think,) and emotionally (what you feel.).
For your own self-worth be available to find a better boyfriend. Stay away from the families that are fueled by shame, anger and/or guilt. These toxic family systems last for generations.
Either wash the soiled sheet or replace it. Then say a firm and final goodbye.
I am 23 and I still don't know what kind of career I want. What should I do?
Don’t panic! You’ve got plenty of time.
1. Be patient! - You are where you are, and that’s OK.
There’s no advantage to rushing through life. At 23 you’re just at the beginning of the journey. At 23 I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do!
As Maya Angelou once said, “All great achievements require time”.
2. Try stuff - During my 62 years, I have been a bus conductor, a shipyard worker, a welder, a plumber, a government cog. I’ve had countless temp jobs, I created my own publishing company and run my own design company. I have been creative director of the world’s biggest branding agency, a space tourism expert, a blues musician, an author and a lifelong entrepreneur, as well one or two jobs I’d best not mention in public.
My point is they all got me to where I am today. So if you don’t know what you should do – try stuff!
And if nothing else you will end up with a lot of eye watering after dinner stories.
3. Make a decision - Do something, anything, but make a decision and move forward and if you stay curious, keep your eyes open and listen more than you speak (at least in the early years) opportunities will come your way. I know that for sure!
4. There are opportunities everywhere.
See difficulties as opportunities and challenges as a gift.
Remember opportunities present themselves in many different forms. History is full of people who succeed against all the odds. So whether you are 16 or 66, you have a lifetime to succeed (and you can, because you can).
Whether you’re a university graduate, just been made redundant, just retired or you’re an overworked mother with a mortgage and can’t remember the last time you had any time to yourself, you can do it ‘if’ you want to.
5. Never be afraid to start, but you must start now – today, as soon as you finish reading this ☺
6. Don’t dwell on your weaknesses!
You already suck at them. Instead, concentrate on what you’re good at and get better at it.
7. Be disciplined. Discipline is doing something you might not like to achieve something you love.
8. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself a chance to get there.
When the going gets tough, we all have self-doubts, and our confidence is put to the test.
Remember: we are much stronger, tougher and more resilient than we give ourselves credit for.
And finally - we’re not put on this earth to get a career, or make a shed load of money, we are here (in my opinion) to experience life and you don’t need either of those for that.
There is a beautiful quote by Mufasa, in the Disney movie The Lion King that goes:
“Look inside yourself. You are more than what you have become.”
Originally Answered: What was your "aha moment" during a toxic relationship that made you realize people never change?
I dated a girl for a few years and we lived together for the last half of the relationship. Things hadn’t been great for several months before I decided to break it off, but it was a single statement she made that convinced me it was time.
The yard was in serious need of some attention. The grass was a bit high and we hadn’t done weeding in a few weeks. So I decided to spend my day off working in the yard.
I mowed the grass and edged the walks, I weeded all the flower beds, watered and fertilized our plants, got some new plants to fill in the beds. After I was done with all that, I decided to do some cleaning. I power washed the driveway and the house. The concrete looked brand new.
I finished shortly before she got home from work. When she got in, I was in the backyard admiring my handiwork. I was proud of how the yard looked. It hadn’t looked that nice in quite a while.
When she came into the backyard, I motioned towards all my hard work with my hands as if to says “look what I did!”.
The only thing she had to say about it was “You forgot to sweep behind the chiminea.” and pointed to a small pile of leaves off in the corner of our yard. Then went inside to take a shower.
Something snapped in my brain. All the times she had criticized stupid things just to have something to criticize came flooding back. I suddenly realized the obvious pattern that had been there all along. She didn’t just do it to me either. It was just who she was to everyone. She just enjoyed criticizing people.
I knew I couldn’t live life like that. I knew that if I stuck around, she would keep doing that for the rest of our lives and it would make me miserable.
I had just spent my entire day doing yard work in the middle of June and she couldn’t find one positive thing to say about it. I left that evening and stayed with a friend. The next day, I came home and broke it off with her.
Abused as a child, now father to two children. Pragmatic Existentialist. Author.Updated Thu
I am very polite and calm to my girlfriend of five years, who is also the mother of our son. I can count on one hand the number of times that I raised my voice to her and that was only because we were arguing about something, and she raised her voice to me. This was also when we first got together, and she was learning my boundaries then. Since we had our son, I cannot think of a time when we had an argument that resulted in raised voices. Why?
We want our son to grow up with two things inside of his head: 1) Grownups work out their differences by being adults and discussing them until they reach an agreed upon conclusion, and 2) treating each other respectfully is how two adults should treat each other.
Polite and kind is how an adult should treat another adult. That is how a mature adult treats another adult. You should be extra appreciative of your dad for setting the example of how you should treat your future partner and how you should expect them to treat you.
FLOWERS ZAUBERER is a profoundly gifted writer, musician and songwriter whose music transcends boundaries, touching the depths of the human soul. With a unique ability to blend spirituality and music, FLOWERS ZAUBERER has carved a niche for himself in the world of spiritual works and music. His soul-stirring compositions are a testament to their deep connection with the spiritual realm, and he has garnered a devoted following of fans who find solace, inspiration, and enlightenment in his music.
