BECOME AN ANTHROPOLOGIST

Anthropology is a science dealing with man and his origins. In this strategy, however, I'll conveniently redefine anthropology as "being interested, without judgment, in the way other people choose to live and behave." This strategy is geared toward developing your compassion, as well as a way of becoming more patient. Beyond that, however, being interested in the way other people act is a way of replacing judgments with loving-kindness. When you are genuinely curious about the way someone reacts or the way they feel about something, it's unlikely that you will also be annoyed. In this way, becoming an anthropologist is a way of becoming less frustrated by the actions of others. When someone acts in a way that seems strange to you, rather than reacting in your usual way, such as, "I can't believe they would do that," instead say something to yourself like "I see, that must be the way she sees things in her world. Very interesting." In order for this strategy to help you, you have to be genuine. There's a fine line between being "interested" and being arrogant, as if secretly you believe that your way is better. Recently I was at a local shopping mall with my six-year-old daughter. 

A group of punk rockers walked by with orange spiked hair and tattoos covering much of their bodies. My daughter immediately asked me, Daddy, why are they dressed up like that? Are they in costumes?" Years ago I would have felt very judgmental and frustrated about these young people as if their way was wrong and my more conservative way was right. I would have blurted out some judgmental explanation to my daughter and passed along to her my judgmental views. Pretending to be an anthropologist, however, has changed my perspective a great deal; it's made me softer. 

I said to my daughter, "I'm not really sure, but it's interesting how different we all are, isn't it?" She said, "Yeah, but I like my own hair." Rather than focusing on the behavior and continuing to give it energy, we both dropped it and continued to enjoy our time together. When you are interested in other perspectives, it doesn't imply, even slightly, that you're advocating it. I certainly wouldn't choose a punk rock lifestyle or suggest it to anyone else. At the same time, however, it's realty not my place to judge it either. One of the cardinal rules of joyful living is that judging others takes a great deal of energy and, without exception, pulls you away from where you want to be.

SPEND A MOMENT, EVERY DAY, THINKING OF SOMEONE TO LOVE

An excellent source of gratitude and inner peace is to spend a moment, every day, thinking of someone to love. Remember the old saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away?" The love equivalent might read, "Thinking of someone to love each day keeps your resentment away!" I started consciously choosing to think of people to love when I realized how often I could get caught up in thinking about the opposite - people who irritate me. My mind would focus on negative or strange behavior, and within seconds I was filled with negativity. Once I made  the conscious decision, however, to spend a moment each morning thinking of someone to love, my attention was redirected toward the positive, not only toward that one person, but in general throughout the day. I don't mean to suggest that I never get irritated anymore, but without question it happens much less frequently than it used to. 

I credit this exercise with much of my improvement. Every morning when I wake up, I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. Then I ask myself the question, "Who shall I send love to today?" Instantly, a picture of someone will pop into my mind - a family member, a friend, someone I work with, a neighbor, someone from my past, even a stranger I may have seen on the street. 

To me, it doesn't really matter who it is because the idea is to gear my mind toward love. Once the person to whom I'm directing the love is clear, I simply wish them a day filled with love. I might say to myself something like, "I hope you have a wonderful day filled with loving kindness." When I'm finished, which is within seconds, I usually feel that my heart is ready to begin my day. In some mystical way that I can't explain, those few seconds stick with me for many hours. 

If you give this little exercise a try, I think you'll find that your day is a little more peaceful.

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***NB: This is an extract from the book- Don't sweat the small stuff.

WHAT ARE THE MARKS OF THE GOOD LIFE?

“You have proof in the extent of your wanderings that you never found the art of living anywhere —not in logic, nor in wealth, fame, or in any indulgence. Nowhere. Where is it then? In doing what human nature demands. How is a person to do this? By having principles be the source of desire and action. What principles? Those to do with good and evil, indeed in the belief that there is no good for a human being except what creates justice, self-control, courage and freedom, and nothing evil except what destroys these things.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 8.1.(5) 

What’s the meaning of life? Why was I born? Most of us struggle with these questions—sometimes when we’re young, sometimes not until we’re older. Rarely do we find much in the way of direction. 

But that’s simply because we miss the point. As Viktor Frankl points out in Man’s Search for Meaning, it is not our question to ask. Instead, it is we who are being asked the question. It’s our lives that are the answer. 

No amount of travel or reading or clever sages can tell you what you want to know. Instead, it is you who must find the answer in your actions, in living the good life—by embodying the self-evident principles of justice, self-control, courage, freedom, and abstaining from evil.

ADDON:

DECIDE FOR YOURSELF WHAT YOU WILL. AND FOLLOW THROUGH TO THE END. AND THAT SHALL BE YOUR DESTINY. THINK. 

BUT WE WOULD RATHER YOU CHOOSE THE GOOD AND DESIRABLE AND NOT EVIL, THE UNDESIRABLE; FOR GOOD ALWAYS FOLLOWS GOOD AND EVIL LIKEWISE ALWAYS FOLLOWS EVIL. CHOOSE.

MAY THE SPIRIT GUIDE US ALL.

ADIOS.

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This is an extract from the book, The Daily Meditations.