Is 'the Social You' in good health? Do you 'suffer' from moods? Are you at ease with other people? How is your self-image? Do you lack self-confidence? Do you live with a sense of inferiority? If so, do you try to cover up your inner feelings of inadequacy by anti-social habits such as talking too much (your friends will call it 'rabitting on'), showing off, playing aloof, acting brusque and hard-to-handle? Do you give up in the face of everyday problems and whine? Fill your mind with negative thoughts until your sense of perspective disappears? Are you fume and fret?
If the answer to any of these questions is 'Yes' be it known: these things ought not to be. More to the point: these things need not be.
Dysfunction in the social component of our being spoils our enjoyment of the adventure of life. The puritan inside some of us kicks out at the concept of 'enjoyment'; but we are ignoring the evidence of a God-made creation if we have not grasped that there is a sense in which life is for the sheer enjoyment of living! Of course there are greater purposes, and grander causes; of course there is a moral and spiritual dimension which gives living a higher significance. But none of this detracts one jot from the fact that life is to be enjoyed.
And among the main impediments to enjoyment are self-consciousness, a sense of inferiority and the other types of dysfunction in the social sphere of being.
Too many are hampered by that popular malady the inferiority complex. Yet without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful and miss out on the joys of life's adventure.
The first step to a cure is to discover why you have feelings of inferiority. Basically these feelings arise from a deep, profound self-doubt and their genesis is in the cobwebbed depths of your past: some emotional violence done to you in childhood, something you did to yourself, the (seemingly) unasked for circumstances in which you were born, brought up and educated. The roots of the inferiority complex are in feelings, not reasons or objective fact. Find the root cause in the dim recesses of your personality then rationalize and throttle it.
The greatest antidote to the inferiority complex is faith, meditation and practically facing it in the face. Norman Vincent Peale used to have sufferers repeat a Bible verse whenever feelings of inferiority set in: 'I can do all things through Christ(or the God of whichever 'ism' you belong) which strengtheneth me' (Philippians 4:13).
The fact is that faith in God gives you faith in yourself. The reason for that is that the Bible is brimful of assurances that to God the value of one soul - for 'one soul' read your name - is beyond all creatures, beyond all sacred institutions, beyond the value of all the world. Never forget it!
How do you acquire faith? It is a gift from God. Not only that, but it must be taken care of, must be fed by us till it grows with us. If this is not done our faith will fade and we will then have a pattern of bad temper and doubts.
How do we acquire this gift from God? By communicating with God and allowing God to communicate with you.
How? First through prayer. Not superficial, perfunctory, formalistic Book of Common Prayer-type prayer. Just you talking to God as a Friend. No set pattern of words are required; no Elizabethan prose.
Second, having prayed for help, read God's printed letter to man, the Bible( or the whichever 'ism' you belong). If you have never read it before, begin with the Gospel of Luke in the New Testament. Unless you have a penchant for Sixteenth Century prose, read it in a modern version like The Living Bible.
In this way, over a period of time, God will fill you with His gift of faith. That done, you will come to realize what your self-doubts will give way.
Drive your prayers deep into your doubts, fears and 'inferiorities'. When you pray you are on the hot line to the greatest Power in the Universe. Not to a shadowy Being in a distant galaxy, but Someone by your side, in your office or car or home; always nearby as a Partner. If you fill your mind with affirmation of God's involvement in and concern for your life the dominations of insecurity will be destroyed.
Of course, the problems which weigh us down and make us insecure are not 'all in the mind'. Life can throw some sharp missiles our way. But any fact facing us, however difficult, is not as important as our attitude towards the fact. Victims of the inferiority malady see all facts through discoloured attitudes. Psychiatrist Dr. Karl Menninger has said: 'Attitudes are more important than facts.' The best corrective is to gain a normal view, slanted to the positive side. Begin by making a list of all the things you have going for you.
Worry is an unhealthy, destructive private vice. You were not born with it. You let it grow on you. The effects of worry carry over into all four spheres of life, especially the physical and the social. It is founded on fear and fear can only be overcome by faith. Master faith and you will automatically master fear. And again; you will only master faith if you spend time each day with God. Worry is a cancer which spreads through the mind and fills it with thoughts contrary to God's care. Cancel each day as you scrunch a page of your calendar. Live a day at a time, 'forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before' (Philippians 3:13).
Expel worry. Fill your mind with thoughts of God's power, God's protection, and God's goodness.
'Fret not thyself' (Psalm 37:1) a wise man said. But fretting and fuming consumes a disproportionate amount of our lives. We must reduce our pace by changing the character of our thoughts. Over-stimulation, fatigue, frustration, debilitation, even emotional illness, result from the ultrasonic pace of our lives.
Slow down and receive the peace 'which passeth all understanding' (Philippians 4:7).
If you are a town-dweller, take time to enjoy the peace of the countryside. Heart-expanding views from great heights. Lush fields where cattle graze. Crystal air hung with the smell of everything that grows. Untamed hillsides, heather-clad. The golden glory of autumn is misting woods. The solitude of bare fells. 'Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while' (Mark 6:31).
Relax; and receive the peace of God - into your joints, as well as into every facet of your personality.
Because attitudes are more important than facts, choose to be happy. By your thoughts and attitudes you distil out the ingredients of life either happiness or unhappiness for your self. 'He that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast' (Proverbs 15:15).
Do not harbout negative feelings - 'Everything always turns out for the worse. It's just my luck'. 'Trust him to come up from the canal with a new pair of boots on. If it had been me, I would have gone head-first into the mud'; enjoy the continual feast of the happy man.
When you adopt a posotive outlook on life your social life will blossom; you will enjoy the adventure of living - become popular, well-liked, and feel an all-pervasive sense of well-being. In short, the social component of your being will be in a one hundred per cent, A1, healthy condition.
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